Anger and Rejection

All anger is rooted in rejection. (Jon Eargle, Healing Where You Hurt On the Inside)  There are no exceptions to this rule. Anger is one emotion that haunts many people. Anger, as an emotional feeling, is related to a feeling of rejection and is a response to rejection. Since we cannot ever be completely free from rejection, we must be aware of what real rejection is and not respond by behaving in a way that is wrong and counter-rejecting the other person.We are made to choose how we respond to various emotion-engaging circumstances. If we are third party to an event, we can easily choose how we would respond while watching from a distance. When it is personal, we are much closer and don’t have the same insight that distance provides. As a first response to the feeling of rejection, make sure that rejection is what is intended by the other person. Ask them, "Are you rejecting me or should I feel something else?"If they are in fact rejecting you, deal with it in a way that lets them know for sure that you do not want to be separated from them. If you do want to be separated from them, thank them for the gift of making the end of the relationship easy. If they do not mean to reject you, ask them exactly what they do mean by what they said or did. Work from that answer, not the emotional overload. This seems very simplistic. It is. If you are not sure about the intent (being sure is important), you must be sure, for you are responsible for how you behave in any situation.Usually there will be a little time for the initial wound to heal. Give yourself and the other person time to heal. If further information is needed to heal, pursue the information gently and with no agenda except to understand the other person. After all is understood, there will likely be growth in the relationship that will prevent further damage of the same kind and the opportunity for intimacy will have been increased.

The response in anger is rarely correct. When it is, exercise self-control and "Be angry and do not sin!" Ephesians 4:26