Recommended Books For Relationships

The following list and review comments are for you to get an idea of reading that can help you build solid relationships.

The Holy Bible

Any translation or version

A Celebration of Sex, Douglas E. Rosenau, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2002

Rosenau describes and delights in the wonder of appropriate marital sexual exploration. "A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy" Is a primer for unmarried people who want to marry, married people who need more information, and troubled sexual relationships. A good followup is A Celebration of Sex After 50 for those who have been around a while.

Beautiful Outlaw, John Eldredge, Faith Words, 2011

John has written a very detailed and wonderful closer look at the nature of Jesus. The second title leads to the core focus: "Experiencing The Playful, disruptive, Extravagant Personality of Jesus." The view he exposes is rarely seen in church or even social Chrisitan gatherings. I delighted in the view from cover to cover. Click here for a great preview:

Boundaries, Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Zondervan, 1992

"When to Say Yes - When to Say No - To Take Control of Your Life" This is a classic to me. Find out how to live a sane and satisfying life without the blame and shame of mis-guessing the other person's mind and choices. A full series of books is available.

The Cure: What If God Is Not Who You Think He Is and Neither are You,(2016) and Bo's Cafe (2009) - John Lynch, Bruce McNicol, and Bill Thrall, Trueface, Phoenix, AZ 2016 (

These books will open a new insight into the grace that God has given us to choose to be with Him.

The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman, Northfield Publishing, 1995

Chapman has made a brilliant work for communicating love so that it is understood as long as you learn the other's love language. "How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate"

Half The Church, Carolyn Custis James, Zondervan, 2010

Carolyn Custis James unpacks three transformative biblical themes, showing how God gives women a new idetity that frees them to embrace the life he gives. Half The Church embodies a positive, kingdom approach to the changes, challenges, and opportunities facing women throughout the world today.

The Language of Love, Gary Smalley and John Trent, Focus on the Family Publishing, 1988

Smalley and Trent teach how to cvnstruct vital word pictures that explain what you are feeling so that the communication process leads to greater knowing of each other. "A powerful Way to Maximize Insight, Intimacy, and Understanding" walks through 16 chapters of developmental skills for a lifetime of good communication skills.

Love and Respect, Emerson Eggeriches, Integrity Publications, 2004

Eggeriches has made putting away the crazy cycles fairly simple. Following his scheme is not natural and yet is very effective. Eggeriches shows how to give "The Love She Most Desires - The Respect He Desperately Needs"

Love and War, John and Stasi Eldredge, Doubleday, 2009

The Eldredges combine wonderful and insightful wisdom for those who are married or want to be. They elevate the work of marriage with the power of love. They also give some wisdom about the battle against marriage being waged by the demonic realm. In the last pages (208), comes this paragraph: "Like stepping inside the chapel of San Vitale, stepping into God, I found a dazzeling life. I have a battle to fight now, as great as any man could ask for. I have adventure upon adventure. I have a stunning beauty to rescue (and you recall what happens after the rescue). Stasi has what every girl dreams of: she has someone to fight for her; she has a great adventure to share; she has more and more beauty to unveil. What a joy passes from this partnering with God to see your spouse become more whole, and alive, and free"

Sacred Influence, Gary Thamas, Zondervan, 2006

Thomas writes to women about how men are wired for relationships and especially marriage. "What A Man Needs From His Wife to Be the Husband She Wants" This book is a great help for women and a in depth bio for men.

Sacred Marriage, Gary Thamas, Zondervan, 2000

Thomas takes a good shot at changing the rationale for getting married and especially staying married. "What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?" I especially appreciate that Thomas and God showed me how deeply rooted in resentment/contempt I have beeen and how that hurt my realtionships and helped destroy my first marriage.

The Utter Relief of Holiness, John Eldredge, Faith Words, 2013

"How God's Goodness Frees Us from Everthing that Plagues Us" Eldredge builds beautifully on this theme of freedom through the work God has done and continues to do so that we are free to enjoy God. This book describes our Christian relationship as a delightful walk with the Supreme Creator Who enjoys each and everyone of us when we walk with Him. Holiness from His works makes us delightful. This writing may challenge everything you ever learned in church or Bible Study and yet draws the human heart to the Divine Heart. This book challenges us to think with the renewed mind and comforts us in the relationship he provides.

Why You Do the Things You Do, Tim Clinton and Gary Sibcy, Integrity Publications, 2006

Clinton and Sibcy go into the data and rational for why we do not attach well as adults based upon what happened in childhood. "The Secret to Healthy Realtionships" is the focus and all can gain insights from their understanding and simple presentation.